Winter weather.. ugh! Cold weather is not my friend. I seem to be waking up with more aches every day.
Pam’s Journey – Day 63
Miles walked: 177
Miles remaining: 823
Days remaining: 303
Limpy Gimpy.. that was me for a while about 17 years ago. On October 14, 1994 I had a freak accident involving my car, my garage, and me getting run over by my car in my garage.. long story. It resulted in a compound fracture of my left distal femur. AKA, big broken leg. It required an 8″ metal plate, 6 screws and a big ol’ pin right above my knee to hold it all back together. It was one of those life changing events. The kind where you can’t forget the date, the kind where the doctor says, “you won’t be able to go back to work for at least 2 months, and you won’t walk for 6 months”. He might as well have said, “you are going to have no food, electric or water and will be evicted by the time you can go back to work.”
House and hunger can be a pretty big motivating factor in recovery when it has to be. I’ve never been a very good patient, in that I don’t follow doctor’s orders very well. So, 3 days out of the hospital and I was calling him every day to see when I could go back to work. 2 months? Riiiiiiiggggghhhht…. I was back at work 1 week after the accident and my Christmas present was him telling me that I could try to start walking without my crutches, which was 2 months after the accident.
Determination.. perseverance.. bull headedness.. drive.. Stubbornness? Yes.
That was when I was Limpy Gimpy. It was a long, long road but I got back to as close to normal as I guess I could be. The problem I found was that I used to be slightly bow-legged. All of the hardware in my left leg has straightened it out, so now I have 1 bowed leg and 1 straight leg.
You probably wouldn’t know that I limp much until I told you all of this. You might just think it was my “southern swag”.. whatever that is! I pull to the right (when I’m not pulling to the left lol). I over compensate with my right leg and I tend to lift my left leg higher so I don’t trip. Walking is a precious thing when realize that in a second, you may not be able to walk again. That’s one of my reasons for LOVING this walk!
I’ve noticed something on my morning walks. When I’m passing a street light and see my shadow beside me, I notice that my shadow is limping. Not just a little bit, but seriously noticeable limping. Picture a 3 legged giraffe.. that’s maybe close to how much I’m limping! It put this walk in a whole new perspective for me. I’ve been limping along through my life without even knowing it.
The more I watch that shadow every day, the more I think that it’s my spiritual limp because if I were physically limping that bad, surely someone would have asked me if I were “ok” by now. But my spiritual limp is another story. It’s the battle of control that I know too well. I give it over to God every day but I take it back again and think I have to “take care” of me instead of trusting Him to do it. When you’re a single mom, you manage the office at work, you try to help anyone that needs it, and you take as much care of your parents as they will let you, then you start feeling like you have to do everything on your own and you can’t ask for help… and that’s why I’m limping.
I have a recurring prayer, every day. “Please take my life, everything in my life and do your will. Help me to let You lead me, instead of trying to do it all on my own. Walk with me in everything I do.”
Jeremiah 29:13 ~ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.. Psalm 119:2 ~ Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart.. Isaiah 55:6 ~ Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Proverbs 8:16 ~I love those who love me and those who seek me find me.
I’m seeking Him on this walk, every day. I seek Him at work when I get stressed. I seek Him when I’m alone and need some company. He has never let me down, He doesn’t hide from me, He’s there every time.. when I seek Him.
The more miles that I walk with Him, I’m finding that I don’t seem to be limping as much.. or should I say that my shadow doesn’t seem to be limping as much! My “southern swag” isn’t as noticeable. So, either I’m learning to give my life to The One that can handle it, allowing me to walk easier… or He’s carrying me. Either way works for me.
it was then that He carried me…