Pam’s Journey – Day: 133
Miles Walked: 343
Miles Remaining: 657
Days Remaining: 233
I’ve been having a nagging feeling of failure the past few days. This nagging feeling is weighing on my heart because I haven’t walked for 6 days. I know it’s silly and I know that it’s not a failure but I also know that Satan isn’t happy about the purpose for this walk and he will take every opportunity to put a wedge in this growing relationship with my Jesus. I know my nagging feeling is his work.
When we first planned to start this walk there was a lot of talk about the “what this walk means and what it is and what it’s not”. I wanted to do the walk the second that Kristen mentioned it. The more we talked about it and then decided to blog our journey, I started getting a little nervous. Blogging? Me, writing? and other people actually reading what I write? I wasn’t so sure about that. I mean, writing is not something that I have ever enjoyed or felt that I was good at. My fear was giving Satan a plowed field to plant doubt… but 4 months into the walk and what do you know, writing isn’t so bad.
The other thing that made me hesitate even more about this walk was when we put a time limit on it. 1000 miles in 365 days. I had no doubt that I could walk 1000 miles… but in 365 (actually 366 this year!) days was a little intimidating. It averages to 2.74 miles every day or if we round up and walk 3 miles every day then it gives us 32 days overage to play with. So, if we are sick or weather prevents us from walking or any other unforseen reason would occur then we have 32 days of grace.
You may be wondering why this stresses me out.. you might say that it’s just a walk, and we have God’s grace and just the effort of doing this is kind of inspiring. But it’s more than that. It’s a commitment. It’s a promise that I made to the One I’m walking with. What if Jesus didn’t follow through on His primary purpose? What if God had changed His mind, which would be completely understandable to me as a parent. Giving His perfect son for a world of sinners… I couldn’t do it. So, His promise means everything to me… and in my mind, my promise might mean something to Him.
I often refer to myself as “an unfinished project just waitin’ to happen”. I mean that literally and spiritually. Literally – I am famous (at my house) for starting projects and not finishing them.. like the almost finished paint on one of my dining room walls from last spring, the almost finished kitchen remodel from 2+ years ago, the multiple almost finished scrapbooks that are always “a work in progress”. I’m really good at starting projects and have every intention of finishing them but… the dining room has a vaulted ceiling so the wall is like 16ft tall and that’s a pretty good reason for putting it off.. and the kitchen remodel was a joint effort with my ex-husband and he kind of decided not to help me finish it and I never got around to it.. and well, scrapbooks are like a never ending hobby so that’s understandable too… right?
Oooops, I forgot about the wood trim that we replaced in my daughter’s room last summer and there’s 1 piece that goes above her closet door that never got put up… it’s in the garage, next to my nail gun and is just waiting for me to finish it. We won’t even mention my almost finished refinishing job on my coffee table.
The upside to this is that when I do get around to finishing my unfinished projects, they usually turn out amazing! I get compliments, I feel good about my work, and I can say that I accomplished something that maybe in the beginning I didn’t know if I would be able to do… which comes back around to this walk. I know this is one “project” that I will finish. But then again, I know that this will be another one of my famous unfinished projects because once the 1000 miles is finished, there is no way that I can stop this walk with Jesus. It’s like air and I don’t know that I can live without it.
Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you–unless, of course, you fail the test? ~ 2 Corinthians 13:5
Sooo… I’ve already watched the weather and there is no snow, ice, rain, or freezing fog in the forecast for tomorrow morning. You know what I’ll be doing at 6am, don’t you? Walking.. yes, walking!
Dare to Fail…
Try something new, start an unfinished project!
What we may think of as failures,
are sometimes God’s masterpiece…