At a loss.

Pam’s Journey ~ Day: 201

Miles Walked: 499

Miles Remaining: 501

Days Remaining: 165

Have you ever been to church and hear something that just gets all over you? Like, something that you know you do – but you shouldn’t, or something you should be doing – but you’re not?  Yeah… lately it seems that I keep getting the “Love like Jesus does” thrown at me. It’s been in my devotions almost every day. So, I keep trying to put it out there and be what Jesus wants me to be…. and then some reckless, road-raged punk comes zooming up on me, whipping around me to cut me off by squeezing in between me and the car ahead of me when there is 2 miles of empty lane directly behind me! OH, and then, he starts giving Me some sign language that I may have just been thinking about giving him but would never actually do, like it was all my fault that I made him drive like that!

Love like Jesus… of course there were no highways with fast lanes in His time. Did I mention that the above-mentioned punk never once  used a blinker to indicate that he needed to get in my lane.. like I’m supposed to be reading his mind, right?

And No, I do not have road rage… but I may have Rude Rage.

I’m having a hard time dealing with rude lately. I’m drowning in negativeness. The constantly complaining, never satisfied, thinking they are the only ones that has “things” going on in their lives – people. I get it – Life can be hard. Trust me, I get it.. but Life doesn’t give a pass to sling rudeness to everyone in your path.

A couple weeks ago, Taelor and I were headed to visit my parents and we stopped for a snowcone (her treat!). While waiting in line, the dad ahead of us ordered snowcones for his 4 little girls, that were absolutely adorable, and he requested no “cones” so they wouldn’t make a mess in his truck. This snowcone stand doesn’t do the cones on top, so no problem, right? One of them was slightly (like 1/2 cm maybe) rounded above the lid of the cup and the dad made such a rude comment to the owner that left my daughter and I standing there, looking at each other, with our mouths hanging open.

I’m probably sounding pretty uncaring and definitely not like I’m loving like Jesus does, but I’m completely at a loss with how to keep dealing with the negative people. I’m at that place where one more complaint about “life” may just send me over the edge. I guess I assume that everyone should realize that we’re ALL going through life.. none of us are exempt, so just roll with it.

‎”The Lord also keeps safe those who suffer. He is a safe place in times of trouble!” Psalm 9:9

I’ve tried the cheerful, optimistic attitude because this is my norm and it works on some people but not those that obviously just enjoy grumbling and complaining about everything and don’t want to look on the bright side of things. I’ve tried distancing myself from them but sometimes it’s impossible with my daily interactions. Now I’m at the “keep my mouth shut” option because I have nothing to say that’s going to improve their mood or it would have already improved it, so I try to say as little as possible and just pray that they find peace. I hate to be at this place but I don’t want to risk their toxic attitudes affecting my life.

I mentioned the “funk” that I was in last week and this funk is a direct result of the negativeness being hurled at me from every direction. So, if these people are causing my funk from all of their negativeness… then are they in a funk all the time? That’s a really sad thought. Thinking that they must be that miserable all of the time makes me feel a little sorry for them.

Do you know these people? I’m sure we all do. I know someone who knows he is one of those people. He’s asked me to pray for him from time to time.. and I do, but I feel that maybe I should share something with him. I don’t have a secret decoder communication device to send these prayers to the God that can give him peace… OH Wait, I do! It’s just prayer.. simple, humble prayer. As much as I don’t mind keeping other people in my prayers, I desperately wish that he would do some one-on-one prayer time.

Sometimes I have to face the fact that I can’t fix everything (or everyone). I can be quite determined and stubborn but there does come a time when even I have to admit that I may be letting more harm than good come from some of this toxic exposure.  Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” ~ 1 Corinthians 15:33. 

This is a touchy thing for me because the more I try to follow God’s lead, the further I’m being led from some of my friends and even some family. Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? ~ 2 Corinthians 6:14. The more I pray about it, the more I feel that it is time to keep my distance. I will keep praying for them of course but keep some distance between me and their unhealthy attitudes. When it affects me and more importantly, when I bring it home to my house, it’s time to let it go. 

Let go… and let God. Of course, I will keep trying to love like Jesus loves 🙂


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